Being a Full Time Wife

Focusing my life around my husband and home made made all the difference.

I can not tell you the number of nights I have come home from work and cried because my house was falling apart.
The dishes pilled in the sink. My husband not having clean pants to wear to work, or able to find socks in the pile of laundry filling our closet. Eating take out again. And wearing a ponytail and no makeup most days so you look more like an over exhausted mid 30's woman than the trendy 21 year old you want to be.

But trying to balance your new responsibilities with your home life now that your married, and working full time is harder than it seems like it should be.

And a lot of nights I feel terrible that Im not the Wife I think I should be.

I thought about it allot one night and I realized that I was a full time manager, and a part time wife- my priorities were more focused on my job than my personal life and marriage.
I should not be worried about work once I get home, but thinking about home while Im at work.


I had to become a Full Time Wife and put everything else second to my husband and our home.
Which is way easier said then done.
I had to change my work schedule to give me a little time during the week that was just mine for the house while my husband was at work. From experience I find it way easier to get stuff done alone. He tries to be helpful but when Im in clean mode I do better when its just myself I need to direct.
I had to learn to manage my time better. I got a little planner and literally planned out my days from when I would get up to what ingredients I needed for dinner each night.
I made sure He was taken care of first. If I did his laundry first I was less likely to forget my own later. And if I made his lunch before I went to bed I would do mine in the morning. I focused on him most, because he is the main part of my marriage.

While I would like to say everything is perfect now its still crazy sometimes. But As long as Im trying and its improving its gonna be ok. I can only do so much. But focusing my life around my husband and home instead of work made all the difference.

Savor the Moment

Don't ever let the love be silent in your home.

Its important not to let yourself get so occupied and overwhelmed with everything you have to do that you forget to pause and Savor the small moments in your marriage.

I am personally terrible at this.
Don't be afraid to take a break from whatever your doing to enjoy a moment. If your doing the dishes and your husband comes and hugs you from behind, stop what your doing and kiss him.
If your working on something and he gets in your way, hug him and tell him how much you love him.
And don't be afraid to distract him from whatever he's doing too. Always act like lovestruck newly weds, and you always will be.

You can never, ever, tell your husband enough times or in enough ways that you love him. And the more you try to express it the more you will love him every day. And the stronger your marriage will be. Don't ever let the love be silent in your home. You should try to show your love for each other a thousand times each day.

17 Habits of Happy Couples

ARE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER DOING THESE?

I found this online earlier this week. This is direct copy from Minq.com Read the original article here

1. CHANGE YOUR FOCUS

A lot of the problems that couples have can be fixed if both people can just change the things that they focus on in their partner. Rather than focusing on what your partner does that annoys you, remind yourself of the things that you enjoy about him or her. So many people look for negatives even when surrounded by positives.

2. ALWAYS SAY "GOOD NIGHT"

We've all heard the phrase "never go to bed angry," and it holds true. Even if you and your partner are fighting, take a break to sincerely say "good night" before sleep and remind him or her that you still love being in a relationship with them.

3. DEFAULT TO TRUST AND FORGIVENESS

Every couple has disagreements, but how you deal with those moments is what really defines your relationship. A lot of the things couples fight about is actually a very small issue that can be dealt with easily. Before you start yelling, step back and take a look at the bigger picture. Make your trust in this person and your forgiveness for them your default mode, rather than suspicion and anger.

4. GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME

You'd be surprised at how important something so simple as synchronized bed times is for a couple, but it really does go a long way in strengthening your relationship. Sure, it's not always easy to match up your sleeping schedules, but couples who do fall asleep together are constantly reminded of their close bond and reassured by their lover's touch.

5. HUG WHENEVER YOU COME HOME

Human skin holds memories of good, bad, and no touch, which it associates with a person. Being sure you get as much good touching, like hugs and kisses, with on another as possible helps you lead a happier and healthier relationship.

6. TALK THROUGHOUT THE DAY

You might spend your days apart at separate jobs or responsibilities, but you should still check in every so often. Whether you prefer to have a phone call during lunch, an afternoon email talking about your day, or something more sporadic like texting or instant messaging, it's important to communicate how your day is going even while apart. That way, your partner already knows how you feel when you get home.

7. KNOW EACH OTHER'S LOVE LANGUAGE

The author Gary Chapman noted that different people communicate affection in 5 distinct ways: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. While it's important to regularly focus on each of these love languages, you should also know which is most important to you and to your partner, as they may not be the same.

8. DEVELOP COMMON INTERESTS

It's natural for different people to have different interests, and of course you shouldn't have to do everything with your significant other, but having some interests or activities in common can really help to strengthen a couple. If you already have a common interest, find out a way to actively participate in it together, and if you don't then try out some new things together to try to develop one.

9. COOK DINNER TOGETHER

A lot of couples split up who cooks, but when only one person is doing it you're missing out on some quality bonding time. Not only do both people enjoy the meal more if they make it together, but cooking together is a unique experience the couples should experience often — it involves communication, creativity, and even sensuality.

10. SAY "I LOVE YOU" EVERY MORNING

It's important to start the day off on the right note, especially when the rest of the day may involve facing annoyances at work or other responsibilities. Saying "I love you" or simply "have a good day" to your loved one is an important way to remain patient and tolerant throughout those daily nuisances.

11. SPEND ALONE TIME TOGETHER

Happy couples are comfortable together, which means that they can spend time in the same room without trying to entertain each other. They don't feel pressure to always be amusing each other or doing the same thing — they can comfortably do their own things even right next to each other.

12. REGULARLY MAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER, AS A TEAM

Happy and secure couples share their lives together equally, and that means that they recognize the importance of communication and decision-making. Rather than acting alone, someone in a happy relationship will always talk with their partner before making a big decision.

13. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

The people in a relationship obviously love one another, but to make them truly happy they first have to love themselves. A relationship is really a reflection of the happiness of the individuals involved, so happy people make a happy relationship.

14. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE EACH OTHER

Everybody wants to be appreciated for who they are, so a truly happy relationship involves both people loving each other for the people that they are. If you only love someone when they change to fit into your own ideas, then you love your own fantasy rather than another person.

15. BE PROUD TO BE SEEN TOGETHER

Some people may not like attention, but everyone should be proud to be seen with their significant other. And sure, PDA isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it is true that happier couples can't always keep their hands off each other in public.

16. WALK SIDE BY SIDE

Even the way you walk can help or hinder the strength of your relationship. Instead of walking behind or ahead of your partner, make an effort to walk side by side. Holding hands and walking next to your significant other really does make you two stronger with each step.

17. DON'T PLAY GAMES

A happy relationship is not like the couples you see on a lot of sitcoms — they don't play games with each other. Openness and honesty help build a happy relationship, but lying will only ruin it.

What to get for the Newly Weds?

What do newly weds REALLY want for wedding presents?

I asked 6 couples who got married last year on what they really wanted/needed verses what they received as wedding presents. Which ones were the most useful and exciting, and which ones ended up returned or re-gifted. Heres what they said:

1. CASH. While its nice to put allot of thought into a gift instead of getting a generic card with some dough inside… Marriage usually means that the couple is just starting out on their own. And some extra money goes a long way! "I remember being so stressed out after our wedding because I wasn't sure how we would be able to pay rent after all the unexpected last minute wedding expenses. But my stress slowly melted away as we opened card after card from our well wishing friends and found enough money to pay off some things we desperately needed."
2. KITCHEN APPLIANCES. "While most of the stuff we got was the cheaper Wal-Mart stuff, having a toaster, coffee maker, crock pot, can opener, blender, we even got a microwave. Those helped kick off my kitchen and last me until I could afford to upgrade in a few years. Defiantly my favorite things."
3. BED SET. Having a nice matching bed set (or two) is SO nice. Not something a lot of people think to give as a gift- but something everyone needs or would enjoy. 
4. BATHROOM SET. You can NEVER have enough Fluffy Bath Towels. And soap dispensers, tooth brush holders, even a cute shower curtain- those are things newly weds who are barley out on their own will appreciate.
5. ELECTRIC CANDELS AND TWIN WINE GLASSES "Its the first thing we used, we took it on our honeymoon and had a toast in the candle light."

A few things that made it into the "What am I supposed to do with this?" List:

1. Laundry Soap and other cleaners. 
2. Mixed Match Tuppa Wear
3. Books. Especially Cookbooks
4. Hangers…?

Keeping a Journal- Benefits your life and Relationship

A new finding suggests that keeping a journal not only benefits your life and memory, but also could play an important role in how satisfied you are with your relationship.

"You need to be careful to not use your journal as a vent for negative things in your life. But to help you remember things from your past. If its not a positive memory or something you want or need to remember later in your life, you shouldn't log it."

But if you are writing about positive things that happen, especially in your relationship, it will help you be overall happier with it. "Today _____ did the sweetest thing" or "Its so cute when my love _____" Even things like "I was thinking about what would happen if I ever lost him. If only he knew how mush I need him." 

A cute idea I found on Pinterest about journal writing- is getting him a journal From you.
You can give it to him as a gift one day, or use it as a keepsake incase he ever lost you.
Im doing it for him for an anniversary present. Here is an entry from mine to give you some ideas:
"Feb 17th 2014      
       Today when I came home from work and saw you standing in the kitchen in your work clothes, just home yourself and you were doing the dishes for me because I hadn't had time this morning, was the sweetest thing ever. You didn't ask why they weren't done, or complain. You simply did them because you knew I have been so busy and you were trying to relieve some of my work load. You always do more than your part, and I will never be able to tell you how much I love and appreciate you. And I notice all the little things you do in my life."

Look back to your personal journal often and remember the special little moments or the sweet things that he said, or how much you need him in your life. Things won't always be sunshine and rainbows. But when a storm comes its nice to be able to look back on the sunlight and fall in love over and over for the same little reasons.

Just a quick note

Remind your husband every day of how lucky You are to have him.

I like to leave my husband love notes.
I never do it the same way twice and I am always trying to think of different ways to leave them.
A sticky note here, or a folded paper in his work binder. A memo on his phone or a note in his lunch box. An envelop under his pillow or a post card in his suitcase when he leaves for work over night.
Some Sharpie on a mirror or a reminder on the fridge.
Anytime I feel like he's having a rough time or I just want to remind him of how important he is to me.
I think its important to show them just how much we care and whats on our minds. Je loves finding them and says its nice to get a cute little message or an ego boost every now and then.
We love it when they tell us how nice we look or make a big deal out of simple things, so why wouldn't they?