Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.
A time when we take a step back from all the baby posts and social media cuteness and think about those who were never born.

It affects 25% of us. But most people never imagine it will happen to them... until it does.
Its not genetic, not currently preventable, and never expected. There is no way to predict if it will happen to you. 1 in 4 woman will experience pregnancy loss in her life. If you look through your friends and family I am sure you will be surprised at how common it is around us- yet how little it is talked about.

For those 3 out of 4 of you whom never experience this first hand- what can you do?
Be supportive. Even though posts about loss can be depressing, don't ignore them. Liking a photo or post about someones loss goes a long way and shows these woman that you care.
Just letting them know you are here for them helps. I received flowers from friends just saying they were thinking about me and I can't express how much that meant to me at that time.
Avoid comforting with "at least" phrases, such as "at least you can try again." or "At least it wasn't further along". These are well meaning but so hurtful for someone in this situation.

For the 25% who have experienced this first hand- reach out to one another. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to share your story. Its important to realize that this happens to many people for many reasons and you are not alone. Your pain is not any more or less justified because of the time at which this occurred. You are allowed to be sad, and angry about this. You should not blame your self or go down the habit hole of thinking of all the things that could have possibly caused this. You are not to blame, these things just happen.

It is important to remember the men at this time as well. It hurts them mentally and emotionally just as hard as the woman. It is sometimes harder for them to open up or seek comfort, but they need it just as much. If there is any positive moment that could be pulled from the terrible experience of our miscarriage- it is that it brought my husband and I so much closer together. We grieved together, took turns being the strong one and leaned on each other, and helped one another move forward with hope again.

October 15th is the national mourning day of Pregnancy and Infant loss. At 7pm local time we light candles, wether together or alone, and remember those who were never here. Take a moment to reflect on your loss. We will never forget these things that change our lives forever. But with time we can move on from this with peace.

Picture from: angelbabynetwork.org

Here is my blog post about our miscarriage: http://ayoungwifeslife.blogspot.com/2016/10/my-miscarriage.html

I encourage you to share your stories in the comments below if you wish.